


We Could Be Together...

by emjellybean



Series: Where's my Soulmate? [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Mute Barry, Mutually Unrequited, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 14:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7644331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emjellybean/pseuds/emjellybean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry had been waiting to find his soulmate for years and until he finds them and kisses their lips, he won't be able to speak. When he meets Dan, he can't help, but hope that maybe he's the one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Be Together...

Barry had been waiting to find his soulmate for years. Not for any one reason in particular, but for multiple reasons, all at different levels of importance. Ever since he was born he’d been unable to speak. He didn’t understand why or how until, when he was six, his parents told him that what he had was very rare and he was different compared to everyone else. They said that until he met his soulmate, he wouldn’t be able to speak a word. Though, even then he didn’t fully comprehend what his parents were telling him. 

When he got to middle school is when he really understood. Adults awkwardly tried to make him understand because for some reason they couldn’t just say it. When they were having a hard time telling him, he thought it had something to do with sex, but when they told him he was…taken aback just a little. They told him that once he and his soulmate kissed, he would be able to speak from then on.

Now Barry understood completely and to be honest, he thought it was fucking stupid. Sure, he knew that the world they lived in had some strange ways to go about things, but this was just ridiculous. Other people just got their soulmate’s name on their skin or just couldn’t see in color for a while and some didn’t get any indicator, which is something he wished he could have got. But here he was, unable to talk. He was never able to, so it didn’t bother him that much, but knowing it was only because of the whole soulmate situation was the worst possible thing. He was infuriated by it for a while but as he graduated high school and started college, he stopped caring. It’s not like he really wanted to talk all that much and if he did, he just wrote down what he wanted to say, tried to mouth it, or used sign language, which was taught mandatory at his school, though not at every school. Not everyone knew sign language and many people couldn’t read his lips very well, so writing was usually his best option.

He went through college, got a degree, and then, when unable to find a job with that degree, proceeded to work at a clothing store in the mall. The job wasn’t too bad, though. He even made friends with a guy, Dan, who worked in the music store next to him. They didn’t see each other too much, but they could have some nice conversations during break, which was coincidentally at the same time. Dan knew sign language, but not because he was taught it in school. Where he was from, they didn’t teach it, but his sister is deaf, so his whole family learned it. 

Barry mostly just listened to Dan, but Dan did ask him questions, so he answered them. Where was he from, how old he was, what he liked, and all that sort of stuff. They had conversations almost every day. They later exchanged phone numbers, so they could text, went over each other’s houses, and hung out. They were best friends within a few months.

The thing was, Barry never asked about Dan’s soulmate and Dan never asked about his. He wanted to ask him so badly. Whenever he was with Dan he felt happy, comforted, alive, and unlike any way he’d ever felt. He’d never had a friend like him before. He almost hoped they were soulmates, but he would never actual tell him that. No way in hell. He’d told Dan before that he liked his voice and that he loved being around him, but it was all in a friendly way. At least to Dan it was. He promised himself that he would never make it seem otherwise…but he lied to himself all the time.

Only a week after Barry’s full realization that he might he falling for his best friend, he texted him and asked him if he could go over his house. He had the entire thing planned out, thought of all the reactions Dan could have, played them out in his head, but yet he was still just as nervous as he was when he first thought of the idea. When he actually got there, he knocked on the door and then put his hands in his jean pockets and waited for the door to open up. When it did, he waved as Dan smiled and let him inside. 

Dan talked to him, but truthfully, he wasn’t completely listening, only shaking his head or nodding when he knew he was asking him a question. He took a sip of the water Dan got him and then gulped when he was finally asked, “So, what’s up?” He knew that he couldn’t answer with, “Nothing” or “The sky” because they would make it seem like he’s hiding something and they both knew that he knew what he meant. He was asking him why he wanted to come over because it didn’t seem like the casual interactions they usually had.

Barry bit his lip, hesitating. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a letter, handing it to Dan. Of course he wrote a letter. He wasn’t going to sit there and try to awkwardly and nervously sign it all out for him. With the letter, all he had to do was sit there and wait for Dan to read his carefully written letter full of his feelings that he had looked at and revised well over fifteen times as apparent from the little scribbles all over it. The problem with the letter was that he had to wait. He couldn’t do anything to stop Dan as he started to read the letter. He didn’t even want to look at him because he was afraid Dan’s face would do all the speaking before he could even start. 

“Barry…” Was the first thing he heard and when he looked up, Dan was looking back at him shocked, the letter still in his hands. “I…” He looked unsure and almost as nervous as Barry was feeling. Dan put the letter down and went over to Barry, hugging him tightly. Barry still wasn’t sure what was happening, whether he should be happy, sad, or worried, but he hugged him back anyway. Somehow, this wasn’t in the list of possibilities he’d thought of.

After a few long moments, Dan’s grip on him loosened and the warmth he provided to Barry was gone. Dan put his hand on Barry’s cheek and leaned closer to him. This was it. The moment Barry was waiting for. The time where he would finally get what he wanted. His heart raced and he closed his eyes as their lips met. It seemed like an eternity. He felt numb, his nerves overtaking most of his emotions. Even though he truly did want to be happy, he couldn’t be because there was this horrible feeling inside of him. Before long their lips separated and they stared at each other. Barry opened his mouth slightly and tried to say something. He didn’t want Dan to know what he was doing, so he tried to be as subtle as possible, though he was sure he could tell exactly what was going on. 

He was told when he kissed his soulmate, when he wanted to say something, he would just be able to. He would know how to speak and wouldn’t have any difficulty. He would be what they said was “normal,” whatever that meant.

So he opened his mouth and tried to say something he’d been wanting to say for weeks and the moment was still, almost in slow motion. Then, it hit him. 

No sound.

He would have cried, should have cried, but he just couldn’t do it. Dan suddenly looked guilty for some reason, as if he’d known the whole time that they weren’t meant for each other. Then, Dan pulled at the collar of his shirt to reveal a name in black on his collarbone. A name that made his heart clench, made him hate, made him so, so angry at everyone, but especially at the man who owned that name.

Arin Hanson.

-

Three weeks later…

Barry had decided quite a while ago that staying where he was, working where he was, would just be bad for him. He decided to quit his job and he would try to find a new job and maybe a new place to live. As he went in for an interview, his phone buzzed for the fourth time that day, over thirty times in the past few weeks. He knew it was Dan. It wouldn’t have been anyone else. He felt like an asshole for not talking about him since the time he’d found out that he really wasn’t the one for him. 

He knew it probably seemed childish. That he should get over it because it was just a crush anyways and it’s not Dan’s fault, but he wouldn’t know what to do if he saw him. The only things he could think of was, “Hey. So about the whole thing I wrote in the letter and you feeling guilty and my heart being ripped in half, don’t worry about it. I’ve been waiting my entire life to find my soulmate, but it isn’t like I won’t find them someday even though the chance of finding your soulmate after you turn 30 is statistically very low and I’m already 23, turning 24 sooner than I can handle. If you find your soulmate, that’s good, but just know I’ll probably dream about strangling them in their sleep every night.” But that was a little much, so he decided not to talk to Dan before he got his thoughts figured out and maybe stopped being homicidal on this guy he doesn’t even know. It wasn’t anyone’s fault except fate’s, but he wasn’t even sure he completely agreed with its existence. Sure, soulmate’s exist. They were the person you were most compatible with, who you would be happiest with, who was the only person it was socially acceptable to be with in their society, but that doesn’t mean there’s a definite fate determining whether or not you meet them. The world is too complicated to think about.

After the interview, which made him pretty sure he would never get hired anywhere ever again, he looked at his phone to find that he was right. Messages from Dan. He hadn’t deleted any of them, so he scrolled through them. They all said the same things: “Is something wrong?” “Are you okay?” “Probably a stupid question to ask, but seriously.” “Can’t we talk?” “Please don’t be dead.” “Fate’s a bitch.” “We can work something out.” “Please talk, I need you.” “I’m sorry.”

He hated that Dan felt like he needed to apologize, but he still didn’t do anything, only ignored his messages and just hoped it would all go away. The way he liked dealing with his problems. 

A few more weeks later and he hadn’t gotten a new job. He wasn’t going to be able to pay the rent for his apartment and knew he would be kicked out. Even if he did get a job soon, there was no way it would be one where he would make enough money to pay for it within the time he needed to. He was going crazy. He wasn’t getting messages from Dan anymore. He tried calling back home to his parents, but every time he tried to contact them, he didn’t even get an answer. He sometimes spent hours laying on his bed and thinking of either what to do or what was going to kill him first. Maybe it would be starvation or maybe he’d get shot or stabbed. Maybe there would be a really cold night and that’s what would get him. Maybe he would just kill himself, so he wouldn’t have to suffer. He couldn’t care less at this point. He was fucked.

Then, a thought crossed his mind. Maybe if he went to Dan, it would be okay. He could go to him, beg for forgiveness, and they could be together whether fate or whatever bullshit was holding them back from being together wanted it or not. Screw soulmates. Screw being able to talk. He was happy when he was with Dan. He hadn’t even talked to someone he liked in over a month, so seeing him, hearing his voice…it would be the best thing in the world.

He soon found himself at the door to Dan’s house and he knocked, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. This felt familiar. Except, instead of seeing Dan’s face, he saw someone else.

“Hey.” The stranger greeted. “Who are you?”

Barry signed his name, hoping that he would understand and move out of the way because he really just needed to talk to Dan and not just one of his other asshole friends.

“Sorry. I don’t understand sign language.” He said, seeming apologetic.

Barry found himself becoming quickly frustrated. He was stressed and had a long couple of weeks, but before he could get truly angry, Dan came up behind the other man and looked at him.

“Barry.” Dan breathed out, disbelieving. 

Just seeing him made Barry want to hug him and cry and tell him that he’s sorry for being an asshole and ignoring all of his messages.

“Come on in.” He said, walking in, expecting that Barry would come in behind him, which he did, but very slowly and almost awkwardly as if it was the first time all over again.

Barry sat down on the couch as Dan got him a glass of water, which he appreciated. Dan sat down beside him, as if almost nothing had changed and as if someone wasn’t sitting in a chair not too far away.

“Why are you here?” Dan asked. Not accusingly, not angrily, but just a genuine question. 

Barry wanted to tell him, but every time he tried to think of how to structure his thoughts, he kept getting distracted by the man he didn’t know off on the side, so he asked Dan who it was, not thinking twice about it.

“Oh…” Dan seemed to be growing nervous. His leg shook and his eyes darted around as if he was trying to come up with something to say. “Barry this is, um…Arin.” He knew right when he said it that Barry would know who he was talking about.

Barry’s eyes widened slightly and somehow his heart broke just a little more. He looked down, so Dan wouldn’t see the emotions in his eyes even though he knew him so well that he could probably guess everything that he was thinking and feeling in that moment. The disappointment, the sadness, the anger, the tears. He quickly got up from the couch and rubbed his eyes, trying to seem strong, but nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to make him look like he wasn’t breaking down both inside and out. He knew he looked just as weak and pathetic as he felt. Before he could move, he felt a hand grab his wrist and looked at Dan who had a pleading look in his eyes.

“Please don’t go…” Dan whispered, hoping he would hear the words loud and clear. It seemed like he thought that if he left then he would never see him again and when Barry ran out of the house without another word, he realized he was right. He wouldn’t see him ever again. That was a promise that he was willing to make to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one part of a series of Barry trying to find his soulmate in the world he lives in. All the parts (however many there will be) are connected and/or in the same universe as each other. Most of them will follow Barry.  
> I promise I have much happier fics I'm going to write for this pairing. I'm just filled with angst writing though.


End file.
